Earlier today, I read two blog entries which made me start thinking about sex. And magick. And my occasional poor response to the various potential iterations thereof. And, you know, god-slaves.
First the links:
For the most part, I agree with the sentiments in both pieces. Intellectually, emotionally, etc. I found them both to express, on a certain level, my discontent with discussions about sex, porn, men, and the culture we live in. I continue to want to know where the distinction between pornography and erotic art – or art in general lies, and how we can specifically point it out. After all, one person's art is another person's wank material, and vice versa and sometimes both together. And while modern pornography – in the sense of Gonzo Porn, at least – certainly crosses those lines... But until we start finding a way to make distinctions, I continue to remain ambivalent about the subject as it's often discussed. I also remain ambivalent and unhappy about many discussions on sex – including “Sacred Sex,” which I'm honestly not sure what people mean when they discuss. Is it sacredly charged sex? Ritualistic sex? A way of living in tune with one's sexuality that is also in tune with one's spirituality? Depending on the author, it could go any which way. And where is the distinction between sacred sex, and sex magick?
I see a lot of people trumpet about these things, but I rarely feel I understand precisely what they are saying.
But that isn't what I really want to talk about, yet, I guess. What I want to say – and keep trying to say – is that not very long ago, I posted some responses to an essay on Godslavery. Given what I've been thinking about today, I come to feel that I attacked the statements and ideas as I saw them presented because I felt threatened. Perhaps threatened is not the precise word, but it gets as close as I can explain the feeling. Since that post, and I may dig through my archives and link it later, I've had a few people privately call me on it. One particular fellow asked me: “So, if some beautiful vision of a spirit or goddess descended on you and demanded weird bondage and hot sex out of you, and you felt completed by it later – but unnerved at first – would you be saying the same things?”
The answer, clearly, is no. I am not sure I would go about recommending the practice, either. But I should be less judgmental overall, and open to seeing the points in which people might fill in aspects of their lives with their spirituality. As the topic seems to keep reoccurring around me, I should probably just take my lumps and admit that for some reason, my squichishness got the best of me. In the event that I made someone feel their practices were invalidated, or I insulted them, or they felt attacked... Then I'm sorry. Your practices – even if you publicly publish them – are your business, and it is not my place and should not be to assault them as long as you are not leading others into a potentially highly dangerous situation.* The latter is very possible, but so are a great many other things. I do not run around warning people not to just trust every coven or neo-Pagan they meet; unless, of course, they ask me. I should not busy myself with attacking someone else's fetish or practice as long as it is on some level consensual and they feel bettered by it. I feel I crossed the line between even a blunt critique and attack, and so... Yeah, I'm sorry. If you want to be Odin's, or Thor's, or Loki's slave – that is your business. I recognize that now.
It would have been enough to simply say, “not for me.” Especially without expressing any contempt or any form of moral judgment. My bad, and in the future when I find myself responding as such, I will try to take note of it and sort out why before I post it in this blog.
* Which is unfortunately always different, depending on who you ask.