Friday, September 3, 2010

Cue Insane Laughter.

There is a question, oh blog readers, and a very pressing one which I must ask: will you be dressing like a Time-Traveler on December 8th?

(The folks I purchase my hosting through support this. I'm not sure if that amuses or alarms me. But it may amuse me.)

And if you did, which form of Time-Traveler would you be?

(Would Gordon go Steampunk, or fight SkyNet?)

Tangentially, anyone ever tried to astral project into the past? Or a past that never was..?


Lady Scylla said...

Yes to all answers. I routinely do astral work in realities that never were.

Though, arguably, they are realities that exist divergent to this one, and rather than "astrally projecting" I'm in fact trans-locating my consciousness into another body who's probably also doing the same thing at the same time.

The Scribbler said...

I did, once, find myself in spontaneous lucid dream (very, very lucid; very,very stable) in which I was in the town I grew up in, but in the future. There were police robots patrolling the streets that were continually IDing everyone they passed. It was creepy.

The Scribbler said...

I guess what I neglected to say is that they where IDing people by using biometrics, which included sniffing at people and remotely reading their vital signs.

Z. E. Accordino said...

I bet Jhonn would go as the 10th Doctor lol. Though I would love to go as Amy Pond. ;)

Gordon said...

Are these my only two options?

Mr Black said...

gotta find my flux capacitor.....

P.S: F.A.Q About Time Travel; good movie.

Jack Faust said...

Gordon: Hardly!

1) Utopian/cliché Future - "If the Future did a documentary of the last fifty years, this is how badly the reenactors would dress." Think Star Trek: TNG or the Time Travelers from Hob. Ever see how the society in Futurama sees the 20th century? Run with it. Your job is to dress with moderately anachronistic clothing and speak in slang from varying decades. Here are some good starters:

- Greet people by referring to things that don't yet exist or haven't existed for a long time. Example: "Have you penetrated the atmosphere lately?" "What spectrum will today's broadcast be in?" and "Your king must be a kindly soul!"

- Show extreme ignorance in operating regular technology. Pay phones should be a complete mystery (try placing the receiver in odd places). Chuckle knowingly at cell phones.

2) Dystopian Future - This one offers a little more flexibility. It can be any kind of future from Terminator to Freejack. The important thing to remember is dress like a crazy person with armor. Black spray painted football pads, high tech visors, torn up trenchcoats and maybe even some dirt here or there. Remember, dystopian future travelers are very startled that they've gone back in time. Some starters:

- If you go the "prisoner who's escaped the future" try shaving your head and putting a barcode on the back of your neck. Then stagger around and stare at the sky, as if you've never seen it before.

- Walk up to random people and say "WHAT YEAR IS THIS?" and when they tell you, get quiet and then say "Then there's still time!" and run off.

- Stand in front of a statue (any statue, really), fall to your knees, and yell "NOOOOOOOOO"

- Stare at newspaper headlines and look astonished.

- Take some trinket with you (it can be anything really), hand it to some stranger, along with a phone number and say "In thirty years dial this number. You'll know what to do after that." Then slip away.

2) The Past - This one is more for beginners. Basically dress in period clothing (preferably Victorian era) and stagger around amazed at everything. Since the culture's set in place already, you have more of a template to work off of. Some pointers:

- Airplanes are terrifying. Also, carry on conversations with televisions for a while.

- Discover and become obsessed with one trivial aspect of technology, like automatic grocery doors. Stay there for hours playing with it.

- Be generally terrified of people who are dressed immodestly compared to your era. Tattoos and shorts on women are especially scary.

Gordon said...

Actually, I was really just asking because I wanted to dress up as intergalactic delivery boy Philip J Fry.

But I will certainly take the "fall to my knees in front of statues and shout NOOOOOO!" under advisement. I may not even wait till December.

London has a lot of statues.

Pallas Renatus said...

Lol'd myself out of my chair at the statue idea. Totally pulling that in December.