This entire entry may be summed up as: “Non Serviam!” You may now dismiss it with impunity!
On Behalf of the Black Brotherhood
“It should be prefaced that these thoughts are my own only. That they in no way reflect a larger community insofar as there may be. None the less, I've occasionally felt pressured to venture my opinion on various matters.
It is not my place to stand in judgment of my fellow man most of the time. For the most part, I keep to the Golden Rule. I don't do to you – most of the time – what I don't want done to me. This keeps me from feeling guilty about things. I don't enjoy feeling guilty, and so as a matter of simplicity, I don't do things I suspect that I might regret. Now, if I become emotional about things... That's an entirely different matter. In acknowledgment of this factor, I do my best to try and see when others also become emotional and irrational. I assume we all do it. And that there isn't anything wrong with it.
That said, I also clearly have ideas of my own and occasionally voice vehement statements of disagreement. These statements occasionally lapse into vitriol, as well. I don't usually apologize for it. I recognize vitriol as something inside myself that I actually enjoy and so I keep it to myself. I'm of the mind that we'll never kill all our vices, so I propitiate a few. The things that actually drastically affect me, I work to change.
But none of this indicates morality of any sort. It is all rudimentary ethics. So while I may live by a code, I will never adhere to the strict standards that some demand. Ayn Rand fans and Theosophists have united together in a mutual loathing of my person before.
I dislike feeling like I must lapse into apology when others demand it of me. That domain of the populace which attempts to sanitize the very world we live in drives me insane. I do not believe in duality. There is no cosmic war of good versus evil in my world. I do my best not to perpetuate harm onto those I care about, I willing to directly confront those who might harm my family, and I pretty much ignore everyone else.
I am selfish. I am prideful. I am a heretic to the foundations of the culture I was raised to believe in. I am a heretic in the eyes of those Scientific Rationalists who consider my belief in Deity as literal and real as being 'ignorant'. I am keenly aware of these as factors in my existence. Therefore, with the exception of small online blogs which gain scant attention, I am very quiet. I interact with few and I consider my existence as being a part of the joy of solitude. Even amongst others, I am alone in my thoughts. On rare occasions I manage to break this solitude. A connection is formed. A bond. An event.
I practice magick. Not to gain enlightenment, as if such a thing were a race. I consider enlightenment a byproduct of the process. I must acknowledge that some knowledge is transferred into wisdom, and therefore change within the self occurs. That there is a process of sacrifice. That nothing is gained by nothing done. But I do not desire unity with the Universe as a whole. Or the cascading light of transcendence to dance upon my brow. If it happens, it happens. I consider worrying over this trivial.
I have been told that such thoughts clearly make me evil. Not so long ago a fellow I'm enjoying getting to know told me: 'I like you, given what you represent. And what you represent is, well, evil. But it's a very tolerant evil.'
Why, thank you. I smiled. I wasn't very insulted although I don't see myself as evil. If evil is harming someone (note: not hurting someone) simply because you can, then it is a very rare occasion when I perform an act of evil. I consider worrying about what someone else might or might not do to be a waste of my time. Silly Chao-Kids want to try and unbind the Goetia from their bottle using shamanic, drug fueled rampage rituals? I'll just sit back with a bucket of popcorn, thanks. That shit is hysterical if you have no personal involvement. I'm not concerned.
People spend all this time worrying themselves sick over the 'karma' of money magick, or condemn sorcerous practices as if what they think matters. Right now, just down the street and unknown to you, a huge mass of individuals are performing curses for clients and they aren't white. Don't disdain their practices because you think you are some how 'above that'.
I treat with equal derision those who would white-wash entire subjects and try and force their opinions on others as those who remain willfully ignorant. If the world is awash in trickster deities, then they serve a purpose. If you can distinguish 'function', you can possibly make knowledge useful. Fire must be stolen from the gods. Sometimes man has to do it; other times, those things which have deigned to aid and abet him. Nonetheless, if I believe the world is awash with gods, it would be hypocritical to not acknowledge Yahweh. Yes, he demands my personal obedience. But I'm a bastard, and we don't do what we're told. So, I sold my services out to someone else. I figured: why not put my influence in the court I agree with?
Who those figures are is my business. Not yours. Just like it isn't my business if your work backfires. The easiest way for money magick to backfire is for you to reify your status as an insurance beneficiary. This is common knowledge. What we do follows the path of least resistance, and so sorcery comes with a Monkey's Paw caveat where you must be able to determine where you want your power to fall. On the other hand, being overly precise means nothing will happen as there isn't a large enough avenue for most of us to create a possibility for us to manifest. Sorry, guys, it just comes with the territory.
As such: everyone makes a lot of mistakes. The more rigid your thought process is, the less magick you will actually be able to perform. That's caveat number two: we are what we think. We believe what we think. If you cannot think it, you cannot use it. As such if you determine everything to be 'black magick' then you have overly limited yourself.
But if you aren't wise in what you seek to do, you may also get kicked in the face by the universe as a whole. It happens. You dust yourself off. If you've grossly fucked up and someone got hurt, you apologize. You do your best, hopefully, not to do it again. Or to discover what went wrong.
One needs no “Three-Fold Law” mysticism to employ these thoughts. No Good Guy badge necessary. I am not a monk. I enjoy sex. I consider intoxication a glipse of divinity. And oh, what forms of intoxication there are! My favorite is hilarity.
I may emulate those I admire, but I recognize them as human beings. Often deeply flawed. I don't think this means they're mired or evil. I have probably done just as bad if not worse. None the less, I do not have a police record. I pay my taxes. In fact, the Federal government owes me money. As I was too lazy to demand they give it back last year. But that is my fault, and my problem. It means I'm slightly irresponsible, but most of the people I know who run around trying to be 'a proper adult' are deluding themselves. I do not drive. I prefer to walk. If I need to be somewhere on time, I will take the bus or catch a ride. I do my best to offer compensation for gas when others will take it. I've found they sometimes decline the offer, which occasionally bothers me. Yes, I could drive. And soon I may well have to occasionally, but what I'm saying is, I generally dislike the process altogether.
I make more an hour than most people do right now. This is countered by the fact that I have a maximum of four hours a week at present. And sometimes, there just aren't clients. I get by. I don't complain much about it. I could always have more money, enjoy more things. But it isn't a priority and I'm not going to pretend to anyone else that it is.
I do not fret over the relative feelings of many people. My criticism can be a bit acidic. This is counter-balanced by the fact that I do try to keep from insulting those I wish to continue in dialogue with. Being polite is always, well, a decent thing to try and do. However, if someone inspires my loathing I will openly tell them that I think they ought to shut up. I am quite biased. If I find something useful, I will keep using it. What you say is largely irrelevant.
There are plenty of people I could apologize to, but I don't most of the time. It would take admitting I was wrong and sometimes I find myself genuinely unable to do so. I'd rather know I was wrong, and refuse to admit it to you. I recognize this as a flaw and I try to work on it. But it doesn't always work.
What I am saying is, I try to make my selfishness useful. And while others may pretend to altruism, I rarely do. That said, I say what I say for free. Because in this manner what I say is more easily dismissible. 'Oh, he's just a kid on the internet.'
Getting published would mean a wider light shined on me, and I honestly prefer the shadows. When I make something up, or dress something up, I am largely only answerable to myself. Because this format is that of a 'throw-away' format. I am not a scholar. I am not a reconstructionist.
I abhor and treat as anathema ascetics. But I do not expect anyone else to think similarly. The fact that I find something pretty is enough to make just about anything 'special'. I do not think I am ungodly powerful. I will not be discovering my 'Word of the Aeon!!!' anytime soon. I don't need such trivial things to justify my pursuits or considerations. I do not advise anyone to follow me. I will not teach you a goddamn thing in person, and do not ask. Ever. What I write is free, and what I choose to bequeath is my own decision.
If I am in a foul mood and you email me asking for a love spell, I may actually write one up for humor. It would be precise and well written. Perhaps pulled wholesale from a book on my shelf. But I would change the end. At the tail end of the ritual/spell, I'd advise you to take a lit candle and let the flames 'lap your genitals as your desire laps upon the thought of another'. Then I would follow it up with these words: 'That is called pain. Hopefully upon understanding it, you will not ever ask me about this subject again.'
As such you might say I am a bit cruel. But I don't kick puppies. And I treat my cat like he's my friend most of the time. All I have to ask is, 'what do you think you are doing?' and he will cease and desist that activity most of the time. But he is not my fucking 'familiar'. Sure, I've seen him cast 'spells' and turn otherwise matronly and businesslike women into cooing little girls. I have witnessed it first hand, and if that isn't magick, I don't know what is. But I do not think he's going to be getting me a second job any time soon, or that he needs a frickin' altar.
It has been asked by at least one fellow: 'Just how much real power do LHP magickians get? What happens to them in the end? Do they stay devoted to the infernal powers or do they move on? If they move on, how is their mental state - are they capable of functioning within society?'
Now, to make it clear, he isn't talking about me. He's talking about actual and complete idiots. But it is a question that I can answer: the relative 'power' of any practitioner of magick, regardless of what they practice, is reflection of their a. Talent, b. Luck, c. Dedication, and d. Alliances. If we take 'knowledge' as a form of power, then having access to ever-greater resources of knowledge is then as necessary as a personal understanding of theory, the capability of enacting it, and just plain Luck. The second question is a bit unfair, since it assumes any given person that considers themselves 'Left Hand Path' has in fact allied themselves with a given set of deities. But he's talking about Satanists, and my answer isn't very frankly Satanic insofar as the Church of Satan would be considered.
In my case, I devoted myself to powers which represented liberation. I want to take a moment to point out that while 'Satan' isn't a concern of any Neo-Pagan (unless they've incurred Samael's wrath), we have sidestepped the question of conflict. A better question would be: 'Are any of my gods willing to place themselves in opposition to another?'
Anyone well versed in any number of mythologies will quickly discover that many Deities have had conflicts before. And even at the most rudimentary level, ideas are in constant competition. So even if we reduce everything down to psychological materialism – which I do not believe in – there is still conflict. Be it the Trojan War, or Loki and Odin getting into a fight, the entities that exist in the universe don't always get along.
Why are we white-washing this? Why are we treating the subject like it's a big taboo? I'm sorry that you live in Suburban America where unless you're seen as an 'Upstanding Citizen' your neighbors might spy on you. But that isn't my problem. I didn't put Lucifer in Aradia. But the name is there anyway, whether you like it or not. And look, when it was written (whenever that actually was), the author quite clearly was choosing the name Lucifer for a reason. And was clearly well aware that St. Jerome had equated the name Lucifer with the Devil. Nonetheless, even at a certain level of subjective conjecture, one is aware that his inclusion is a form of rejecting the popular mythology of the day. Who wrote it doesn't so much matter as if it's useful. If it isn't useful to you? Put it away. But don't pretend it doesn't exist. Or that to some we aren't practicing a form of heresy.
Some Christians are not very stringent in their views on religion in general. They will embrace you and at least be civil to you. Others are batshit insane. Learn to spot the latter. Avoid them like the plague. That's all there is to it. I've found a good, fixed and cold stare makes most people want to just leave you alone. It may be impolite, but it saves me a lot of trouble.
Witchcraft involves a lot of things that make a lot of folks uncomfortable. But it isn't our place to worry about something unless it directly involves us somehow. Go blow up all the covens you want with curses. Make sure to avoid mine, and we probably won't have a problem. It isn't my concern.
What is my goal? The endless return. See, I figure... This world is my playground. I came here for the infinite variations and changes. I will return anew. Nirvana? Fuck that shit. I've single seconds in time as my moments of Paradise. And I experience more all the time as I get older.
I am a Shark riding the waves in an Ocean of Desire. Who could ask for more than this?”