Monday, March 1, 2010 Past Lives

Do you believe you have been here before? If you do, do you believe you have known people, that you know now, in previous lives?

I did a past life regression once. I walked into the bathroom, banished with the LBRP, drew a sigil to represent my desire to see what I had once been. Put a triangle around it. Lit a candle. Performed Austin Spare's death posture.

The sensation was like a thousand eyes inside you opening at once. A thousand mouths opening to speak. It was by no means pleasant. I've done the Death Posture more than a few times. I try to make sure and use it about twice a year. I have never used it to charge a sigil with an intent like that since then. What I saw was this: I was a balding, pot-bellied man working in a tax agency. It might have been an IRS office. He was clearly over forty, probably heading toward fifty. He was gazing a picture of his wife. I knew instantly that she'd recently left him. He slowly lifted a revolver, I'm not sure of what type, put the gun in his mouth. And pulled the trigger. His last thought was: I'm so boring. And now I've lost her. I don't know if that represents an actual past life. I'm dubious that it isn't some lower astral garbage that I ripped out of the city-scape dreamtime. In any event, it was nothing like the things I'd heard Neopagans babble about. It was utterly depressing and I saw absolutely no reason to ever try it again. I mean, at the very best I've tried to make sure my life isn't boring.

And since the first person I loved committed suicide, I'm rather resolutely against it in most circumstances. But all of that aside, I feel rather skeptical about most “past life” ideas. I see no reason why the soul would hold together, should it exist, once the mass exodus of life has begun. Maybe a few powerful individuals could keep their shit together, if they made it a religious duty to do so, but otherwise I figure you get obliterated back into the all of the universe. It's like tossing a bucket of water back into a stream. You're not going to pry that same bucket of water from the stream again. And so most past life data I might have is probably meaningless unless it can tell me something I might not want to do. But who knows? I mean, maybe I was a whore in a past life. That could be an interesting experience, I suppose. Still... I'd rather rip information out of the world around me than probe the deep, deep dark places of my soul just to find out if any of it may even be useful.

Ask me anything

1 comment:

Zoe Hernandez said...

Your bucket/stream metaphor is a good one. I guess if there were any value to reviewing past lives it would be to ensure you didn't forget past lessons, but like you say, you probably wouldn't get the same things out of it now that you would have gotten back then.

Also, my verification word was "slaggego." Heh. Slaggego.