Wednesday, February 24, 2010

A Brief Interlude (or: try Neither-Neither!)

A Brief Interlude
Now, I think, is the absolute best time to test out Spare's Dual Theory and try and make use of it. What Spare asserts, as said before, is that every idea is unified in the mind with its opposite. If we assert one thing must be true, then its opposite becomes equally true. If we assert that there is a divine, benificient deity that rules in Heaven, then it becomes absolutely necessary to have its opposite in an unholy, malevolent entity (or deity). Being that magick is entirely dependent on perception, the only real question we must ask is: “how do I use this?”

So I'm going to ask you to do something very simple: think about one thing you assume or know is “True.” I want you to meditate on, to steal a line from the Emerald Tablet of Hermes, (the) One Thing: one idea. It doesn't matter what it is (gravity, the nature of women, the sun's rising). Now focus your attention on its opposite. Now: think of how the two function in unison.

If you do this in trance (but it can work outside of trance, and can even cause it), then you annihilate your emotional bondage to the idea of truth insofar as the pair you've created is concerned, and free up your belief to be used elsewhere. This creates what Spare says is “free energy,” which is the freeing up of perspective from something that restricted it beforehand.

It is helpful for examples, and so I will give two. One was used in ritual, and one was used just three days ago.

For the first I shall turn to my sixteen year old self and pry something out of it: I was once absolutely convinced that women were evil. This was a bit of a problem, as I was also (being a hot-blooded Aries male) extremely attracted to women and their lovely bodies. As such, being in a relationship was more than a mite-bit troublesome. This silly notion was probably caused by my string of humiliating rejections as a pre-teen, as well as the fact that the first girl I ever fell in love with died an untimely death. In any event, it caused all manner of issues for a while until I entered a series of relationships with were at least somewhat mature, and led me to the understanding that women weren't “Evil,” they were human.

Unfortunately, however, in times of stress the notion would occur with such extreme power that I'd rave about how I'd been slighted, throw tantrums like a three year old, and walk around like a raging beast. This isn't exactly productive to anyone. I was aware of the problem but had neither the drive nor the awareness of how to fix it until I was twenty-two. I'd entered a relationship with a red haired vixen, and it was everything (at least for a time) that a youthful love affair should be: loving, hedonistic, constructive, and positive.

Of course, and like so many stories, it didn't last. The demonic notion that women were evil returned and I fell off the wagon of rational thought. She went through her own Hells during this time, and the dalliance would occasionally return. I found myself with a troublesome realization: either I had to end it, for good and within myself, or I would never leave her alone. And she, having entirely different desires in life, would hate me. So I needed a solution after the last time I'd become a booty call (which was, well, different to say the least).

I grabbed all the clothes she'd given me and put them on. I burned her favorite incense. I initiated trance, and then invoked Medusa. Because I figured that if there was someone that could give me a needed handle on perspective, and help me finish the task I'd begun, it was a mythological female that had been pretty much mired. She probably saw exactly what I wasn't, from the female perspective. (A bit of divination had allowed me to make this decision, by the way.)

Deep in trance, I let the thoughts of how wonderful my ex-girlfriend had been begin. I then deliberately brought out their opposites by remembering all the horrible things she'd said to me, all the times we'd fought, what it had felt like to be dumped on New Years Eve. (How's that for an omen, my friends?)

The two collided and for a brief moment my mind was filled with union. I suddenly wasn't focused on my pain. I could see her own pain, and how our pain had mingled together to become a situation that was so toxic that I'd been worried it might never end. That I'd endlessly return to be pummeled. And that she would, as long as she was in pain, return because she didn't realize just how special she really was. I then used the auto-erotic method of sex magick to aid in the charge of what I wanted, and give my vacuity the “quickening jolt” it needed.

Suddenly unified, I focused myself on the Sacred Letter of 'creativity' I'd constructed and let it fill my vacuous mind, burning will power I'd rendered out of my own personal associations. Since the operation, she has entered into a healthier relationship with her current partner. They've had their first child together. And his last name, by the way, is “Fausto.” On my own end it meant staying single for a bit longer and being crafty with thought-forms to eventually meet my wife. And my real last name, which I'm not going to tell you, is very similar to her ex's last name. The only difference? My last name has an “h” in it. Does that really mean anything? No, it's just one of the more curious results from the process. But in any event, I know for absolute certainty that women aren't evil. Even the ones that hurt you. Really. You can trust me on this.

The second example occurred over the weekend: I have long been resistant to Celtic mythology and prone to bitching about “Celtic shit.” This is because I'm a ginger, and I have more than a bit of Scott-Irish heritage, which means everyone assumes you must absolutely love Celtic mythology. And it drove me insane and pushed me further away from it than you can imagine. My spouse, on the other hand, loves all things Celtic. And Celtic things, fortunately or unfortunately for my previous self, occur in the shit I'm studying. Which means they're kind've important to at least have a small grasp on it.

So I again used Neither-Neither. Why am I discussing this? That night I told VVF: “Hey, if you want to tell Lugh we can chat, go ahead.” She did. And then Lugh wouldn't go away. I mean, really. I was well aware of the super-masculine presence that flooded the house. It made my head spin. It began to bother us both. Finally, before bed, I found myself sighing and glancing at the ceiling and mutter: “Okay. Look. I feel you. I notice you. We understand, you're here. But we need to sleep. Could you please, like, return to your home for at least a bit?”

I felt the presence recede and finally passed out. She's still trying to figure out what the hell she's living with, because I was in opposition of exactly this kind've exchange less than four days ago. There are a few reasons for the open-mindedness, but the primary one is I haven't stopped using Neither-Neither once in nearly five days. (For reasons of my own, which varied for each use.) But here's the thing you need to understand: the why and how of your emotional resistance or force being pressed into those associations just goes poof. It's gone. You've eaten it, consumed them. Like food. To provide the power of synthesis that you need for your operations, and really, for your own personal well being.

The answer to every emotional assertion that something is true or necessary has but one answer according to Austin Spare: “Does not matter, need not be!

And that's all there is, period, to the entire process. Anyone can do it. And everyone can benefit from it. See, even those scary Black Brothers have some really great ideas, don't they?

Oh, and on last thing I always forget about: this process can produce a feeling akin to being manic. It's totally normal. Spare funneled this excess energy into his art, writing, and sex. It works great for creative synthesis. Since he used trance, sleep (he could draw while 'largely unconscious' according to Kenneth Grant and would awaken to art he hadn't realized he'd made), and a number of other things for his art. Don't overdo it if you have to be to work in the morning. Just take my advice on this, as I actually feel it's prudent.


Eldritch said...
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Eldritch said...

I'll have to try that sometime soon.